Sunday, February 2, 2025

Wilted Flowers

Today marks the 3-month anniversary of one of the most life-altering events I could never be prepared for. One quarter of a year has passed but it feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago, with each day bathed in tears.

Many of you reading this know me personally, yet may not be aware that my mom died unexpectedly on November 2, 2024. She suffered a massive brain bleed and never regained consciousness. She was essentially gone in an instant, without warning, taking with her the chance to ask questions that would forever go unanswered, or have one last conversation.

Our “goodbye” and “I love you” whispers were only for us to hear. She physically left this world sixty-one agonizing hours later.

I’ve spent the past three months thinking I would write a blog series on grief, love, and life with a focus on parental loss. I considered paying tribute to Mom using my words and sharing more about her with my subscribers, friends, and followers…but I can’t. I am not ready.

Instead, as this writer struggles to find words, I will focus on remembering to breathe. Someday, I’ll share some of what I’m learning and tell you all about her.

For now, know that God uses us in mysterious ways. Six weeks after Mom died, I was holding the hand of a former pastor as he was about to pass from the exact same thing. God had prepared me to serve others. My heart wasn’t ready, I had yet to accept completely that my one and only mom would never have another word to say to me, but I was oddly prepared to help others even while grieving. I think Mom would have appreciated that.

In these three months, at least five people I know, or who are known by my friends, have had fatal brain bleeds and two others have lost parents. I don’t know what God has planned for me, but I’m starting to see a path with possibilities I never considered.

The series about Mom, death, grieving, and living, will come, but not yet.

I will tell you all about her, but not yet.

Her last flowers died long ago but I couldn't bear to discard them. Her obituary was being written and revised by Dad, but now it's completed. 

These final steps make it a little more real. She didn't want a memorial service, but we'll be hosting the party she wanted in early summer. Until then, I'm not letting go. I haven't found time for my own grief yet.


My dad wrote some of the most difficult words he’s ever had to. I’m so proud of him. The photos scroll through four assorted pictures, reflecting different stages of her life. Please visit her page, Dad shared some great words and some things Mom would tell you if she were here.

Many of you knew her, most of you know me, and a few only know my writing. Mom, you will forever be a part of who I am...that's just how things work!

https://www.pearsonsroseburg.com/obituaries/sharon-ingold



Puppy Love

One More Thing...
Cherish every moment. Be kind. Love the hurting. Time is nothing if you don't use it well.

Take care, and remember, I'm always here to pray for you if you have a need or request.

Lois Lynn

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Monday, June 3, 2024

Time to "Graduate"

 

Author vs. Writer


These words may convey the same thing to you, but I struggled with identifying myself as an author until my book was officially released. I could accept the role of writer, but "Author" sounded so official, like something professionals do, who are paid to do it. It's time for me to move the tassel, much like a graduate would, as I am now a published author.

Oh, did you see that? You may have missed it. 


MY FIRST BOOK
IS AVAILABLE NOW.



You probably did miss this news because I believed I needed things to be perfect before I told the world. I wanted to have the print book available, and an ebook option for my digital readers.

The print book was released quietly in May 2023, and I expected to finish the digital update within the month and announce both together. Long story short, the ebook posed a battle that took two of us almost a year. We JUST released it last month.

In keeping with my previous post about celebrating, I want to share the celebration my friend Lisa and I enjoyed when the final upload was done. I keep saying "we" but she did 98.8% of the work and this book wouldn't be available in Kindle format without her. (Ask me for a referral!)

This beautiful woman believed in me and my words and wanted to help reach more people so others might be encouraged. Thank you, Lisa, I'm so grateful God brought our lives together.


There were tacos!
(Of course there were.)



Hard work deserves a smile of accomplishment.



It also deserves a little "aaahhh" stress relief.


And finally...a sales poster, right? She'd make a great model on The Price is Right.







Speaking of price. Are you dying to know how to get a copy of my book? Let me help you out here.

The easiest way is to follow this link to my website and discover the book, read reviews, and explore a few other things there.


https://loisflores.com


  • Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and most online retailers sell the print book for $15.99
  • Amazon has the ebook version for $9.99 with an INTRO SALE FOR $7.99 through June 13th for Fremont's birthday
  • If you're local, you can order directly from me for $13 through midnight June 9th. You will need to prepay, and they take about 2 weeks to arrive. You can pick them up from me at my home the following week.

To read the first chapter for free, see the back cover, and read the online description, follow the link below to Amazon. I hope this book resonates with you. Have fun making a list of those you want to gift it to! 

NOTE: As an Amazon Associate I may earn from qualifying purchases.


Contact me directly for quantity purchases for gifts or a book club.


One More Thing...
Thank you for your kind words through the years.

Take care, and remember, I'm always here to pray for you if you have a need or request.

Lois Lynn


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Thursday, March 21, 2024

Cause for Celebration

If I asked everybody what they celebrate, many of the first responses might include birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and weddings. Those are all wonderful things to celebrate, and I hope you enjoy them. For some who have read the books, or attended the conferences, you may respond with additional thoughts on living a life that celebrates many things, ranging from the smallest to grandiose.

For some, you are missing someone special, and your celebrations of that person might not be the same as they once were. But you continue. A celebration is a time to honor someone, whether living or gone.

I had a time of celebration this week that I never asked for, it was not on my bucket list. It was time for my 2-year Oncologist follow-up visit. While I love and appreciate my doctor, and look forward to seeing him, part of me wishes I'd never met him. Then again, I'm also thrilled I did because he is a delightful man and a literal life-saver...mine.

After the visit, I found myself driving by a local chocolate shop when I impulsively decided to take two right turns, landing me in their parking lot, squarely in front of the double doors where I knew the giant chocolate fountain was waiting just inside.

I wanted something yummy to ring out the joy of a clean bill of health. I enthusiastically shared with the lady behind the counter why I was treating myself, and why it was so important for me to splurge and find the right tastes to savor. Another customer was shopping for Easter candy and was as indecisive as I was. While we pondered and inquired about the flavors, we both were given samples of the bunny chocolates, as some of the ears had broken off. Yum!

With the bunny ear samples and a raspberry cream sample in my tummy, I carried my precious white paper bag containing three tiny chocolates to the car, crinkling the top back and forth, releasing the rich aroma of cocoa. The bag was placed with care in the seat, wedged between my library book and purse so there was no risk of falling and spilling out in case of an unexpected quick stop in traffic.

Of course, I couldn't simply eat it out of the bag, it needed a presentation worthy of celebration. I thanked God for the good report, the friends He placed in my life who had carried my apprehension before the visit, and the friends I shared my joy with afterward. 

Then I'd sneak one little piece and go outside to enjoy the view while nibbling this yummy chocolate square, watching it melt in my fingertips.

The guilt tried to creep in for spending the money, but I brushed it away like an annoying mosquito and licked the milky cocoa from my index finger and thumb while trying to decide which flavor I would enjoy next. I had already consumed the toffee and had a peanut butter fudge and an almond cluster waiting for later celebrations.

I was visiting a place with a great view, and peaceful water was flowing from east to west. The birds were sounding their calls to one another as they drifted by, content with their progress from one end of the lake to the other, and back again. This serene setting allowed my mind to rest from the chaos of my to-do list, and let the deeper thoughts reveal themselves.

This is when it hit me. Do we appreciate the celebrations in our lives? Some of us find little things and celebrate often while others struggle to celebrate one or two annual events. Some don't believe they are worth celebrating and wrestle with their own birthdays. I want to savor the celebrations more and remember them longer. I don't want to celebrate and forget. I want them to mean more than they often do.

Most people don't care that I had a cancer-free announcement from the doctor. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to think people who know me are glad I'm not sick or dead. But, my health isn't a vital part of their life. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not something we tend to think of. We're aware when a friend is ill but we don't necessarily pay attention to when things are good.

This annual celebration is bittersweet, so I often hide it. Too many people struggle with cancer, treatments, or the loss of someone they love to this horrible disease. Surviving can bring guilt, which can dampen the celebration. That's another story entirely; one I didn't know would continue, and will likely be there for my lifetime. More on that in a future post.

But, we're celebrating here! Let there be streamers, chocolate, steaks, loud music, cake, dancing, pie, etc. You choose whether you celebrate with friends and family, or if it's reserved just for you. Whatever makes you smile, use it to celebrate with. Even those little things. If they matter to you, they are worth celebrating. If they matter to you, they should matter to the people who genuinely love you. Let them celebrate with you. Let them celebrate YOU.



One More Thing...
Go find something to celebrate this week! I'd love for you to come back and tell us what you discovered.

Take care, and remember, I'm always here to pray for you if you have a need or request.

Lois Lynn

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Thursday, February 15, 2024

BRAVE has been a buzzword for several years. I’ve listened to speakers and read books about becoming braver but it’s not working. At least, I don’t think it is. I’ve been taking other steps to improve myself as I ride this moving sidewalk we call life, but I’m not sure I’m building any bravery habits.

At least a year ago, I borrowed a book from the library about being brave. It had a catchy title and was written by someone I enjoyed when I heard them speak, so I thought this might be a different approach worth trying.

100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs is written in small doses so I hoped I could do this. I texted a friend who is diligent about striving to be the best person he can be so someone out there would know I was trying this. I made it to day eight.

At my library, we can renew a book fifty times before it must be turned in and checked out again. I chose to do that this week, and my new goal is to read all 100 days…even if it takes me another 365 to do it.

The Bible has numerous references telling us to not be afraid. I think conquering fear plays a big role in being brave. But maybe bravery is being afraid and doing it anyway. Yep…I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that quote a few dozen times before and you probably have, too.

Photo by Michael Dziedzic on Unsplash
Living a brave life can come in so many forms and hits us each differently. For many of us, it’s an act of bravery to believe who God says we are. This is one area I’ve been working on. This can be especially true if you don’t hear that belief coming from people around you. I’m sorry if you don’t. I know God believes in you, and most people are so busy they don’t take time to look for others to believe in. Most of us struggle with being brave or feeling worthy. Don’t take it personally if nobody is telling you, “You’ve got this.” God knows you do. Deep down, I think you might believe it also.

I know we each have a purpose we are uniquely called out to live, and it requires us to sometimes be braver than we want to be in order to fulfill that. I’m not saying every moment of our lives is a calling, but yet – I kind of am. Some callings and purposes are for a short season while others may be a part of your entire life.

When I took the church job I had, it was certainly a calling for me. Years later, I sensed that being lifted but I could see the root of my calling was to support others and I found new ways to do that.

Sometimes people will interrupt your calling, leaving you to question if you have a purpose. This is a scary place to be. I know this one from personal experience and I had to use every ounce of my faith to believe that man does not determine my calling and purpose; God does.

It’s easy to confuse your activities with your calling. You may have opened a school where you teach adults from other countries to speak English. You think that’s your calling. Then the school closes due to unforeseen circumstances, and you wake up in bed each day, depressed, believing your purpose has been stripped away. You'd be wrong.

I want to challenge you to look beyond the actions, to God’s heart for you. Was it really your calling to open that school, or was it to help people who feel like outsiders believe they belong and are valued equally? Hmmm…

God will never limit your purpose, He has some big ideas for you. We limit ourselves sometimes, don’t we? Others put limiting beliefs on us if we let them. Break free from the lies we hear, externally and internally, and let’s learn how to be brave together.



One More Thing...

What is your purpose, or calling? Do you need someone to believe in you?



Take care, and I'm always here to pray for you if you have a need or request.

Lois Lynn

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Monday, July 25, 2022

Surprised by God

Has an answered prayer ever surprised you?

I was having one of those "if one more thing happens" weeks recently. You know what I mean. You think you'll snap in half if one more thing goes wrong. So much has happened lately that I can laugh or cry at the drop of a hat in order to cope with whatever expense the newest event will bring. I feel sorry for my friends that get texts from me when "crisis" hits. Typically, I overreact and crash and burn for a minute before moving on. It's during the crash time I reach out to not feel so alone. 

I was scheduled to spend a week house-sitting for some friends beginning on a Monday. I was excited to get there but knew I had an appointment that took me 20 minutes in the opposite direction before I could head out there and settle in. I've tried to limit my driving due to the extra costs but this was one of those days when I didn't mind and gave myself permission to keep the appointment...it was for a massage. Before you criticize my spending habits, my chiropractor sent me for massage therapy to prevent repeat episodes of vertigo.

Sunday, this lovely message thought it would light up my life.
I denied it existed. Then I worried it was going to be another $1,000 of debt. The next thing I knew, I had mentally canceled all future plans and given up the idea of having a vehicle. That's not an easy jump for someone who would happily drive 1,000 miles a week, but I went there without a second thought.

I was done. This was my breaking point. I had kept up the appearance that all was well when it wasn't, for one day too long and I lost it. I yelled at my car. I yelled at God. I berated myself for making stupid choices along life's journey that brought me to this moment. Then I stopped and took this picture because I felt like it would end up being a blog at some point, and at least maybe I could get some "there, there" comments from a friend or two when I texted it.

I made it to the house and spent a fair amount of time the first couple of days worrying about the car. Of course, I looked it up online which is never a good idea. I was already dealing with the 4th, or maybe it was the 187th, oil leak and I didn't know what to do next. At least I didn't think I knew what to do.

"Oh wait, I know. I should pray about it."

When it came time to make a run for food a few days later, the light was still there. It didn't blink, it was glaring bright yellow at me, and I felt like it was mocking me. As it turns out, blinking is worse. The mechanic wasn't available for two weeks and I was possibly going to be helping out a couple different friends and needed to travel before then.

In a last-ditch effort, I prayed something like, "God, I know this is a small thing compared to what is going on with other people, but it's a huge thing to me right now. I can't keep going like this, I'm losing hope. I'm trying to do the right thing, and be a good steward with my funds, but life is burying me in debt like I've never known. Please God, I know I usually praise you in my prayers first, but I don't have the strength and I'm begging you...please make this stop."

My dash went dark in less than a minute. I pulled over to stare at it in disbelief, waiting for it to glow again.

Why was I shocked? I know God answers prayers. I know they aren't always with a clear yes, and rarely have I seen an answer come so immediately, but I know He can answer in any way possible. Yet, I was surprised. I hate to admit it, but I don't think I had faith as I prayed. I think I was desperate for help, and it truly was my last resort.

I tried to handle things on my own first. I suspect He was waiting for me to turn around and realize He was there, with waiting arms to handle this trial. He was probably tapping His foot slowly since it was a long wait.

The light is still off, several days later. I'm afraid something is secretly wrong with the car because I expect bad stuff to happen to me. I haven't canceled the mechanic appointment and now worry that will be a waste of money and time. Did God really fix this for me or just bring me peace to get me through until then? I'm an overthinker. It's exhausting.

One More Thing...

Have you ever been surprised that God answered your prayer?

Take care, and I'm always here to pray for you if you have a need or request.

Lois Lynn

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