Loved Through Tantrums

“It is OK to lose it. You are loved in the tantrum and after.” 

That was the title of the video as it made the social media rounds last month. Maybe you have seen this already, where a dad holds space for his child. I was not familiar with this concept, but I was touched by the peace that came at the conclusion of the video.

While allowing his daughter to throw a tantrum, or perhaps have a meltdown, the father never gets angry, frustrated, impatient, or upset. Instead, he strives to protect the child from harm even while waiting for her mindset to change. He seems to sense that this is necessary and waits lovingly, with no expectations or demands.

The child returns to the father for love and comfort, at times simultaneously wanting to be held and comforted but still be in control of her own emotions and actions, even to the point of kicking to push away while clamoring to be held closer.

In a follow-up video, dad Joel Mitchell provides some backstory about the video he captured, saying "That's not a normal fit for her. You could see it had been kind of building for about two weeks and she just hadn't had the right moment, either she wasn't ready to go for it or we just weren't available to hold space for it. I'm not that patient all of the time but when I saw that she was going to need me to be, I switched into that mode."

You can watch the video on Facebook by clicking here

I’ve been that child with God.

I have cried out to Him for help while insisting on doing things my own way. I have begged Him to hold me and comfort me while complaining that He is holding me too tightly. I have kicked and pushed away from His love at the same moment I accuse Him of not being there for me. I have sobbed and wailed while praying, sometimes without words to my prayers. I have been inconsolable, barely able to breathe, and pleaded with Him to end my tears and pain. 

But He was perfect in His “holding space” love for me. He knew me better than I knew myself and understood that I needed to go through the tantrum and be loved through it so I could come out the other side knowing His complete and perfect love. Like the daughter in this video, I wasn't ready to just go for it, to have it out and deal with things and God knew to hold space for me until I was ready. Sometimes the fits have been building for years but fear can keep us from engaging it. Even today I was reminded that God knows the right timing.

The video ends with the most exquisite example of embrace, holding the child with every fiber of his being. I can picture God doing this. I can imagine Him completely wrapping His arms of love and implementing physical protection around us when we’re ready to receive it, then bowing His head over us to protect our minds. He was there the entire time, waiting for us to come to Him even though His heart ached to watch us suffer until we were ready.

One More Thing...
I recently heard the reminder that God respects our decisions and will not force anything upon us. What a beautiful component of love. For God to love us this much, and to know what would help us but still allow us to make our decisions...wow.

Take care, and I'm always here to pray for you or listen if you have a need or request. You can reach out to me privately at loislynnflores@gmail.com or comment on this post.

Lois Lynn