“Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another.”
– Anonymous
“Dance for yourself, if someone understands good. If not then no matter, go right on doing what you love.”
– Anonymous
I have a good friend who used to be the children’s minister at our church. She can fully embrace the fun dance moves and arm gestures you often associate with kids and their musical programs. She looks fantastic doing it, she does not look ridiculous, and she enjoys it. I, on the other hand, can name a hundred things I’d rather do. A root canal comes to mind at the top of that list.
I don’t like to look ridiculous. I don’t want to be laughed at. I simply have no desire to participate in activities that make me look weird, even if I’m the only one who would see. If you haven’t seen the classic clip of the Elaine dance from Seinfeld, please go find it online. Jerry describes it as looking “More like a full-body dry heave set to music.” This is my fear if anybody ever saw me dance.
I grew up in a world without dancing so I don’t know how to allow myself to dance. I saw it on television with the Solid Gold Dancers and was charmed by Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Donald O’Connor, Ginger Rogers, Cyd Charisse, and the others of that era. The church we attended believed dancing was wrong, and so I never danced. One of my biggest high school regrets was that I never attended a prom. Between you and me, I hope that fantasy may come true someday.
I love music, and I have a natural inclination for rhythm and drumming. There’s a lot of hand drumming going on when I hear my favorite songs playing and even a lot of toe-tapping. Rarely will I break out into dance.
Until last Thursday.
I was attending a 2-day virtual leadership conference when the second speaker came out dancing. Even though I was home alone, my initial response was a verbal, “Good grief! I can’t believe we’ve got people like this speaking.” I was so grateful I wasn’t in a group because they would have seen the stoic and reserved me judging this speaker as I sat in my chair unmoving.
She kept dancing. I was in my small home office, still in my jammies because this conference started hours before my usual morning start time when something came over me. I stood up and I danced my heart out. I knew nobody could see me. The day before, I had prayed, telling God I would be open to whatever was put in front of me. So, I danced. And I liked it.
SIDEBAR: We would come to learn she was using this as an illustration about our comfort zones. We learned about the Behavioral Inhibition System, which responds to risk and keeps us from acting. I was so afraid of what I would look like all these years, that I refused to dance.
As she continued to talk about fears, she challenged us to see them as opportunities instead of obstacles. At the end of her presentation, the music was queued again. We danced again. I’m still grateful nobody was watching, and I don’t think I could do it with others around but it was a huge step toward where I want to be.
Check out her website here - Michelle Poler
Lois Lynn
Lois, I love to hear this. Dance as if no one is watching and then do it over and over again, Thank you for sharing. I am going to be looking at my fears. Bring vulnerable and being authentic to who we are, or think we are, takes courage. Keep sharing.
ReplyDeleteYes, I've always loved that song. However, I wasn't inspired enough by it to ever do anything. Fear is a big hurdle for so many of us. It's interesting how our fears are so varied by person. Thanks for the comment!
DeleteBarb Swerdlik
ReplyDeleteWell Lois, if you ever find a prom for oldies like us, I would be honored to accompany you. And we would dance dance dance. Hugs
ReplyDeleteI'll hold you to it.
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