Time Stopped For a Bit

There's even a clump of dust in the middle!

Reposting as I reflect on this date. However, as I glance over at this calendar, it's still resting on the same date.

Saturday, July 28, 2018. 

Time stood still for a while. One of the dearest people in my life was ushered into his new home with God that day after quite a battle through pancreatic cancer. This is the second time I've lost someone I love to this particular horror. My husband and I happened to be visiting my parents that weekend so we were able to be sad together and share great memories and laughter as well. Denny had been an integral part of our home church until 1984 but remained an integral part of our lives from across the country.

The next day, as I was preparing to turn my calendar page, I simply could not do it...not yet. It's almost as if Denny's last words to me were right there, even though they weren't his. 

July 28th:

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27 NIV)

Denny was most known for always reminding people that it's all about grace and the cross. No matter what was going on in life, it was simple. Remember the cross. It felt like he was reminding me of this again, and so my calendar has not changed for a year, a fairly turbulent but God-directed and glorious year.

When you watch a man live his life focused on grace, the cross, and love, you can't help but be challenged to grow. It sure sounds familiar, maybe it was where the words were written in red. Love God, love others! It might be why I appreciate the author Bob Goff so much. It really is this simple, but more often than not it gets complicated by people and organizations. 

While I wish everybody I know could have known Denny, the truth is I knew I had nobody near me who could share or understand the depth of my sorrow and the sadness that would follow upon returning home. I knew I would be watching his memorial service online alone. I knew nobody around me could comprehend my grief. I knew nobody around me was aware that it took me 15 pages in a letter to say thank you for all he had done and to share just a few of the highlight memories.

Today is July 29, 2019, and it doesn't feel possible that it has been a year. The tears still come with any thought of him. Tears of regret for what will never be, touching tears of fond memories, tears of grief at losing someone who was so influential in my life, and even a few tears of joy for what it means to him to be with Jesus.

I spent some years away from church and Denny was one of only a small handful that held me accountable and questioned me about why. Most people just waited for me, told me I knew what I needed to do and that was it. But Denny loved so deeply that he knew the questions to ask, and he wanted the answers. He loved, with Christ-like love. Oh, Denny, you were a perfectly imperfect child of God and I hope part of your reward is to know how far your impact reaches. You lived for the glory of God, and God alone.

Today, I will turn my calendar page. Today, I am one year closer to seeing you again Denny!

I have never attended a memorial of a person that was such an example of grace and love to all who knew or met him. He impacted a lot of people, especially through his publishing years and many he only met once or only through email correspondence. 

Most of you reading this didn't know him, but I hope you may consider spending a bit of time learning about one of the great examples and letting your life be touched as well. If you choose to watch this service, I feel confident you will feel it was time spent well.

Watch Denny's Tribute

One More Thing...

Love is simple. Love is not always easy. How are you doing with that? I struggle. Often.

And in honor of Denny - remember, it's all about the cross.

Take care, and I'm always here to pray for you or listen if you have a need or request. You can reach out to me privately at loislynnflores@gmail.com or comment on this post.

Lois Lynn