Salt Spill

One of my favorite authors and speakers to learn from is Dr. Henry Cloud. Several years ago he wrote about the different types of tears we have and included photos showing that the molecular structure of each kind of tear is unique. He compares tears of grief, change, onions, and laughing. While those are very different, Henry says, "One thing they have in common: they all carry experience." I love that!

I know many people choose to hide from tears by not allowing themselves to stay with the thoughts or feelings long enough for the tears to come. Others allow them to flow but hide their tears from those around them. There are a number of reasons we have these reactions to tears. Some of us were told crying showed weakness. I think men were more likely to have been told this growing up.

It takes vulnerability and humility to allow tears to come freely, even if you are crying alone. It may take patience with ourselves to sit still long enough for the guards to come down and our innermost thoughts and feelings to show up. Maybe we're afraid nobody will notice our tears. Or worse yet, maybe we're afraid they will. Then what? What if they reach out to support us? What if they sit down beside us and hold our hand while we cry? Would that be so bad? Oh, but what if they notice, and do nothing? That is going to hurt. Maybe this is another reason we don't allow the tears to come.

For the most part, tears have not come easily for me. I have certainly had many moments of tears and I've even had full-blown seasons of tears! I'm in one right now. A couple of weeks ago, the dam around my heart sprung a leak that I can't seem to get stopped. As you get older, life can take on a different importance. I had built that dam partially to prevent tears. Now, it's not taking much for those tears to come. 

I don't even care who sees it anymore. If you're my friend, you may see them sooner than later. At church Sunday, the sermon was so relatable that I sat in the back pew with tears streaming downward in a race to drip off my chin. At first, I ignored them because I was afraid someone would see them if I reached up to wipe them dry, so I just let them drop. 

The funny thing about tears though, sometimes they tickle. I eventually had to start wiping my face every few minutes. It didn't matter if someone saw me, God had made it clear I needed to release the tears He created in me. So I did. Alone. OK, true...I did run out the door during the last song so nobody could see me because there was no hiding those tear-stained cheeks.

Here's the deal, all wrapped up in Henry's closing words.

"Your tears are good for you...emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally, and in making life work. Embrace them.

Your pain, your tears should be SEEN by someone who is looking right into your soul as you go through that pain. Your pain needs to be seen and loved in order to completely heal.

So, when you cry...make sure you are crying with someone who cares. It will help!"

Read his full post here

One More Thing...
Can you imagine how great it would be to share your tears with someone who cares? I mean, they can sit with you and take any kind of tear. That is a friend to hold onto. 

Or, it may be a professional (minister or counselor) and that would be okay also. While they may not be a friend, their care is genuine.

Look for your friends who may need you to be that person. Watch out for falling tears, and maybe help catch them for someone.

Take care, and I'm always here to pray for you or listen if you have a need or request. You can reach out to me privately at loislynnflores@gmail.com or comment on this post.

Lois Lynn