Summer Birthdays

This one's for YOU!

For those of us with summer birthdays, we knew that meant there would be no cupcakes at school as a child. We knew we wouldn’t hear our classmates singing to us, and there would be no candles to blow out. There was a definite sense of missing out.

If your parents did throw a birthday party for you, most of your friends and extended family were out of town or away at summer camps. Childhood summer birthdays could be lonely. There was one silver lining, it was a given that we’d have homemade ice cream.

Several years ago, it dawned on me that not much really changes as an adult. A handful of times I tried to schedule a dinner with a few friends but could not land on a date within the entire month when everybody was available. Somewhere along the line I quit trying to celebrate with anybody and it became a day to treat myself.

One year I went out for a steak lunch alone. The clerk felt so bad for me that she brought me dessert and didn’t charge me for my meal. I told her I was enjoying my day and I was happy to pay, but she wouldn’t hear of it. Sometimes the kindness of strangers can mean so much. That particular year was before I accepted the idea of celebrating alone. Honestly, it was one of those years when I couldn’t find a lunch date and I was sad to be there alone, but she didn’t know that. We hugged, I cried, a little.

With social media, things are a little bit different, and we aren’t as forgotten as we used to be. As I took the time to read through my birthday wishes this year, it struck me how expansive my friend list is. The people that remembered me, and took the time to reach out and wish me well, came from all decades of my life and both cities I’ve lived in.

I had wonderful, loving greetings from people at every church I’ve called home. This included my childhood congregations, my most recent church, and my new church where not many people know me yet. It even included one where I only know a handful of people from a small group Bible study.

Classmates from kindergarten through college chimed in as well. Many of these people I have not seen since we were in school together. Our only connection is through social media, yet they wished me a happy birthday.

Of course, there were friends and family, but I also had people I’ve served through a first responder ministry that stopped to post a greeting.

Some of the wishes came from people I haven’t seen in 10-40 years. There were several of them from people I’ve never met, but we had connected through writing or leadership online groups or challenges.

There’s no one type of friend whose birthday notes meant more than others. They were each unique and came with their own history and friendship story. One thing they had in common, was how deeply they touched my heart. I read through them all on my birthday but two weeks later I chose to read them again.

Turn away here if you don’t like the mushy stuff. I’m not usually one to go there, but I’m growing and learning. So…you were warned.

I read through each note again, intentionally pausing to think about how I knew each person and how long it had been since we’d connected. Slowly, one after another revealed that I am connected to more people than I could have imagined. We all are. Some of us easily forget that. The tears began as I recalled old friendships that had dwindled or new friendships that were just beginning. So many of them were people I had not seen face-to-face since we moved to Oregon more than 25 years ago. 

The wishes told me I had not been forgotten simply because our lives drifted. As the tears poured forth, it was like a cleansing for my soul. All the garbage and lies Satan had been feeding me were being revealed. I finally had to take a break when the tears turned to inconsolable sobbing, and I could no longer focus on my computer screen. 

It was then I realized what God has been trying to tell me. I’m not invisible. My life has had a purpose. In some manner, my life has touched the lives of others. I can only hope I have left more footprints of good than damage.

I want to humbly acknowledge every single "Happy Birthday" wish and make sure you all know how much your thoughtfulness touched my heart. Thank you.

For all of you whose birthdays I’ve ever missed…Happy Birthday! 

One More Thing...
If you struggle with feeling insignificant, please consider taking a slow, deliberate walk down memory lane when you see your social media birthday greetings this year. Please do not take them for granted or dismiss them as a chore people felt obligated to do. People leave our lives far too soon. Let’s treasure who we can while we can.

Take care, and I'm always here to pray for you or listen if you have a need or request. You can reach out to me privately at loislynnflores@gmail.com or comment on this post.

Lois Lynn