If you have ever known a
woman, you likely heard their tale of woe as they shopped for a new purse or bra.
Many humorists have lumped these items together in their jokes about things
women hate to shop for. As a woman, I concur. The search for the perfect purse
or bra is all about fit, function, and fashion. It’s also like searching for a
needle in a haystack.
I believe there is an item missing from the punchlines. Eyeglasses. Most of the women I know dread this task as we face hundreds of choices scattered across dozens of stores. Plastic frames offer more colorful options while metal frames can provide more adjustability. You’ll find narrow horizontal lenses, large round ones, and any dimension in between. Today I even saw some hexagonal frames.
I recently purchased six frames; each one had the potential of being perfect. I thought. They all seemed wonderful in the store, and only one was cast to the sideline after my initial comparison test at home. I knew better than to ask too many friends because I feared it would result in one vote for each of the remaining five. I was also afraid to trust my own opinion.
I was paralyzed with indecision. I took the frames with me on a trip to see if being in a different location, in a relaxed state of mind would provide clarity. I was also going to be around a new friend who may have had a different perspective of me, not yet tainted by knowing me for years and seeing all of my insecurities and flaws. As I left to return home, I still didn’t have answers. The next day, I was feeling a little more confident and was convinced I had three I couldn’t go wrong with. Two days later, there were none, and they’ve all been returned.
I began a new quest today with a fresh, and corrected view. You see, what I did gain from my new friend, was a better understanding of myself. I’ve been wearing glasses for 20 years. Each purchase brings with it an internal battle. I think people who meet me would probably classify me as reserved, classic, plain, reliable, and normal. I would agree with that assessment, but I’m also at war with it. I crave being thought of as colorful, adventurous, free-spirited, creative, and a risk-taker. I don’t believe most of those to be true, but I wish I could say they were.
I have spent years relying on a pair of glasses to portray the personality I wish I had. This year I looked for them to be colorful, fun, and unique, without being too outlandish. I wanted them to express a level of confidence I didn’t believe I had. I even had the unrealistic dream they would make me look like a successful author, speaker, and business owner…just in case. That’s a lot to put onto an inanimate object weighing only a few ounces. It’s impossible.
Without knowing he did this, my friend taught me a valuable lesson by not choosing a favorite option from the selection of glasses I sprawled out before him. He is a natural encourager. He sees the beautiful, redeeming aspects in people and then shares his viewpoint. He did this for me. I didn’t really have a choice except to believe his words. He is speaking the truth he sees. I would never dishonor him by telling him he is wrong. He isn't. I have lived with a faulty thinking pattern for so long it's become comfortable and true to me.
This year I learned that I’ve
been pretending. I was trying to hide behind two small clear glass lenses. Not
only was I trying to hide, but I was also inviting an imposter to stand in to represent me. All of that under the guise of simply buying a new pair of glasses. I always hoped they would represent the personality I thought was lacking.
Today I started shopping
for a pair that allows people to see me, through those lenses. The authentic
me. Today I started learning how to accept their view, whatever it may be. I
have an appointment to confirm my selection by Monday but this year will be different.
It’s about seeing the world more clearly, through the eyes and minds of those
who matter to me.
It’s not about the glasses.
One More Thing...
If you don't believe in yourself, believe the words of those who know you and see you.
Take care, and I'm always here to pray for you if you have a need or request.
Lois Lynn
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