Joy Dare: October 30, 2021 - 3 GIFTS OVERJOYED

I've been staring at this word for a while now with nothing happening. My writing classes taught me to start and know the words will come. They were wrong. I can find good things that happened today, but nothing that could be classified as joy, much less worthy of being called overjoyed. I hate having to rely on memories to find my gifts but this might be one of those days.

Nope, I can't find anything in the archives of my mind either. I could choose to skip this post and see if any of my readers notice but I feel like I have to continue to be transparent with you. I simply cannot recall being overjoyed. It has to be in there, but I wonder if this is what happens when you don't intentionally search out joyful things...you forget about them. Hmmm...

If I think of something, I'll update this post later. Sorry folks - but please help me out. Share your "Gifts Overjoyed" in the comments to make up for my lacking.

Photo by Monica Turlui from Pexels

   

Joy Dare: October 29, 2021 - 3 GIFTS ON TIME

Reflecting "on time" often prompts me to think of those I've lost. Then I'm reminded that time doesn't wait and I have plenty of people that still need to hear me tell them how much they matter to me. I appreciate that those reflections help me care more for the people still here.

I am known for being on time. My definition is actually 5-7 minutes early. You will rarely see me arriving late. I'm grateful this trait was instilled in me.

#3 is yet to be determined.

I know, I know...not much of a post. Sometimes, even with an assigned topic, it's just plain hard to be grateful. Today is one of those days.

Joy Dare: October 28, 2021 - 3 GIFTS IN CHRIST

My initial response was to write about forgiveness, grace, and mercy. It seemed like this would be the expected and proper thing for any Christian to write. But, it wasn't mine. It wasn't a great day for me to face this gratitude prompt as I was kind of trying to ignore Christ today and lay low. I was distracted with life. It turned into a day filled with Him instead.

One of the biggest gifts that showed up today, was my family. Not my blood relatives, but people I am brothers and sisters with, in Christ. Because of that connection, my community, I had someone today I was able to reach out to when I needed some help and some encouraging words. God knew we couldn't do life well without others, and I've certainly tried. I still do most days. Today He certainly proved His point that His way is better. I would love to elaborate more on how deeply this impacted me, but these details are mine this time. I did recognize that it was only because of Him that I had someone today, in a time of need. My day would certainly have turned out differently had I not had this gift in my life.

In Christ. Those words carry a lot of weight. Honestly, I can't begin to express it today because it feels bigger than I am capable of. A lovely woman I hope to meet soon did the Joy Dare in 2018 and her post for this day is beautiful. I would like to direct you to her blog for her 3 definitions of Gifts in Christ. I hope you'll be as touched by her words as I was.

Kathy's Joy Dare

In Christ Alone was one of my favorite songs when it came out, and I still enjoy it today. I'm throwing in a link below if you want to go take a listen to it. Because of the topic, it brought this to mind and I've listened to it again a few times today. It was a day I needed to focus on Jesus, and this was helpful. I often forget all that He is. Sometimes I most need Him to be my strength while at other times, it's the Comforter I need. But, the point is, He is what I need.

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Joy Dare: October 27, 2021 - A GIFT HUMBLING, HONORING, HAPPY

I had a humbling experience when someone told me what they thought about first meeting me; "I thought you were the coolest." I've never heard those words directed at me before. In fact, I've always felt quite the opposite. Today was a stressful day so I'm thankful I could draw on those words as a kind reminder that we're not always who we think we are. Sometimes we're cool.

Honoring is one of my favorite words I've adopted in the last ten years. As I spend more time on a computer keyboard, I've come to appreciate that sometimes you cannot honor someone and convey the emotion behind words from there. There is something about the sound of voices conversing, the inflection is melodic, and the emotion is genuine and palpable. You cannot disregard or misinterpret the words so easily. Sometimes, the most honoring thing you can do is look someone in the eyes and speak your words directly to them. Words are important and sometimes the best way to show respect to someone is to say them aloud.

Tonight, I feel happy. I had several ideas for this earlier in the day but never got around to finishing this post. I'm glad I didn't. Tonight I walked with a racewalking friend who could have done laps around me for her exercise but chose to walk with me to help me find a safe place to walk at night. It was also a great time to catch up on each other's lives although she's better at talking while walking than I am. The day was filled with conversations and texts with several friends from all different parts of my life. Now I'm sitting here realizing that my friends make me happy and I'm so glad they're each a part of my life. I feel spoiled.

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FIRST-TIME READER?

This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about. If you want to read my "regular" posts, you'll need to look earlier than October 1, 2021.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

Joy Dare: October 26, 2021 - 3 GIFTS EXTRAVAGANT

I received an extravagant gift from a stranger last month. We were both participating in an online challenge. The option was coming up to enroll in the full 3-month course. At just under $100, it wasn't a lot of money (a great value actually) but it was a lot for me at that time. I needed more information to make my decision and posted some questions for feedback from others. I received an email offering to pay my way. To me, this was extravagant. My life has been impacted greatly by the people attending this course with me, and by the content. I'm thankful for his offer to cover my course fee and I am excited for the day when I get to pay it forward.

I've been around the church for so long I find it nearly impossible to hear the word extravagant without attaching it to God's love. I don't always believe it at the moment, and I certainly don't feel it most of the time. But, it's become a reflex to combine the words and I do believe His love is indeed extravagant and certainly something to be grateful for. I'm linking a post below that I wrote at a time when I was more aware of His love.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2020/03/nobody-loves-me-like-you-do.html

Sometimes extravagant refers to spending too much or going overboard on the expense for a luxury item. I appreciate that I wasn't raised with a longing for extravagant things. I drive a 20-year-old vehicle with 205k miles, a hood that looks like a sunburn peeling off, a string of leaks, blinking dash light alerts, and countless unidentifiable rattles and thumps. I no longer feel safe driving out of town alone, but I'm grateful that I'm willing to be content with it and it happily gets me to where I need to go. When the time comes that I can replace her, it will be with another simple vehicle, nothing extravagant.

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FIRST-TIME READER?

This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about. If you want to read my "regular" posts, you'll need to look earlier than October 1, 2021.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

Joy Dare: October 25, 2021 - 3 GIFTS ENJOYING

Next month it will be three years since I was laid off from my job of almost 16 years. That was a gift. I knew it then but today as I look at the gratitude topic, I can say I am absolutely enjoying this season of life and relishing each day. Well, maybe not some of the 2020/2021 days so much! But, I am enjoying the freedom to freelance, write, discover new opportunities, and meet people along the way.

Photo by Savannah Dematteo from Pexels

Laughter. I have had some seasons when I didn't laugh a lot. I'm currently enjoying its return. I'm so thrilled to be laughing again. I used to watch sitcoms (funny ones) and not smile much. Now I find myself hitting the pause button because I'm laughing out loud, in a room alone. I laugh heartily when I'm talking with my friends. It feels so good to have this as part of my life again. Please, don't ever stop laughing.

I just realized that I'm enjoying the upgrades I made to my workspace. When the neck issues came up last year, I perfected my home creative/office space by arranging things in an ergonomic fashion, hoping to protect myself from future injuries. With that, came a few other layout changes and some added tools like whiteboards. Even a little change in the decor items. All of this has made it a wonderful space I enjoy and I'm grateful I did that.

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FIRST-TIME READER?

This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about. If you want to read my "regular" posts, you'll need to look earlier than October 1, 2021.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

Joy Dare: October 24, 2021 - 3 GIFTS ACCOMPLISHED

Yesterday I mentioned the CT scan scheduled for today. How wonderful that today is "3 Gifts Accomplished" because I deserve to celebrate this one. True fact about me - I am a big baby with limited taste tolerance and a huge gag reflex. If you've never had to ingest the CT contrast solution before, don't believe them when they tell you, "it tastes like dirty hose water." I might go with swamp water for a more accurate description but there is another taste that cannot be explained. I did everything they said and then some. I bought the expensive water-flavoring drops and probably used five times the normal flavoring to try to disguise the pungent taste and smell, I added ice, used a straw, and plugged my nose. I did all of that while walking around outside looking at the beautiful fall leaves. Nothing helped. But, I am celebrating a CT accomplished and have never been so grateful to have something behind me. Whew!

There is a category of people I'm thankful for today - accomplished musical artists. I love music and incorporate it into many of my waking hours. I have favorites for writing, reading, or studying to that clear my mind. When it's time for major housecleaning, or it's a beautiful day, the tempo goes up, and my playlist changes. A road trip has its own unique set. I may want different types of music for different moods but I appreciate that so many people have chosen to pursue their desires to share their gift with the rest of us.

I'm currently part of an online course led by Jon Acuff, where we have been challenged to accomplish three daily tasks for 90 days. There are over 1,000 members and I'm grateful for this community that celebrates the things each other have accomplished. Some are working on big, executive-type goals while others are working on time management goals for their homes. There is no wrong goal. There is no wrong-sized goal. We are learning so much together and I celebrate them and appreciate all of the new connections in my life.

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FIRST-TIME READER?

This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about. If you want to read my "regular" posts, you'll need to look earlier than October 1, 2021.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

Joy Dare: October 23, 2021 - 3 GIFTS BEGUN

My calendar has begun to fill up! This brings so much delight as I look at the assortment of events and the variety of the category colors. This past week was filled with several opportunities to spend time with people, something there hasn't been a lot of lately. Next week it has a mix of time with people, homework for some classes I'm taking, ministry tasks, writing projects, and personal errands. After almost two years of some pretty blank calendar weeks, I'm so thankful to have it look alive again after our "time out." I've got to say, I'm not sure a full calendar has ever brought me joy before this challenge.

I have begun the process of repairing my health. I had surgery the month before my wedding, which resulted in a slow-growing abdominal hernia. It now interferes with my quality of life so tomorrow I will have the CT scan to begin the surgery process. I am grateful I decided I was worth the expense to do this and restore my capabilities for daily routine tasks.

Photo by Stas Knop from Pexels

My book, which is my spiritual memoir, was begun several years ago. Today, I appreciate that because I'm now on the verge of finishing this book. Because I started writing it, it put me in the right phase of the timeline to meet some of the right people along the journey. People, and a process I am grateful to have experienced.

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FIRST-TIME READER?

This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

Joy Dare: October 21, 2021 - 3 GIFTS UNDERVALUED

At the top of my gratitude list is any man or woman who has chosen a life as a first responder. I have been around this community group in one form or another my entire life, with some in my family serving as firefighters or law enforcement officers. I've spent the past 10 years working around law enforcement officers in a city where they are routinely told they are unwanted by the loudest voices while the majority remain silent, or live in fear of showing support and appreciation. They are easily one of the most undervalued people groups and my heart breaks a little with each new blow society deals them. I am forever grateful for them. 

I had the opportunity today to sit across the table from someone I've known for 2 1/2 years but have spent less than an hour with in the last 20 months. I understand we're all weary from this season of isolation and masks; even we, the introverts, are ready for some company. As I looked at him when he talked, I realized how undervalued full facial expression is. I've always heard that we can smile with our eyes. This is true, and it's been nice during our mask mandate days. I noticed today that whether it's a smile or a frown, a pause to think before speaking or a rush of excitement into a story, you can't see all the nuances when the face is covered. It's easier to hide your hesitancy before speaking or your true emotions. Nobody knows if you started to say something and held back. Today I understood that the full facial expressions are likely undervalued because they are priceless, they complete the conversation. I was so grateful to see the emotions behind the words today.

"Smile. You're on Candid Camera." When it was time for a family photo, someone would point to the camera and tell you to smile. Why do we need to be told to smile? When I smile at someone I'm walking by, they smile back almost every time. I feel better and I'm sure they feel better. It's like a socially distanced hug that you don't have to ask permission to give.  You can't put a price tag on that upward curve of the mouth, but I think they are routinely undervalued - maybe that's why we don't smile often. Remember, even when we're masked, a smile can be seen through the eyes as they light up and the crinkles around them.

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FIRST-TIME READER?

This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

Joy Dare: October 20, 2021 - 3 GIFTS UNCONVENTIONAL

Yes, YOU GO GIRL!

This brought me instant joy today! I had a girlfriend with me as we pulled up behind this car on our way to lunch. We both chuckled and then cheered when we saw it. I'd call it unconventional to be so encouraged by a license plate. My friend is going through chemotherapy and transfusions so this was particularly timely, as she just finished up a treatment today. Halfway through the hardest part - you go, girl!

I am grateful that my home is filled with unconventional colors that fit my style and create the atmosphere I enjoy. I have bright Kayak Yellow walls in the tropical room and the guest bedroom. The bathroom is vibrant lime green (with lots of white accents) to help refresh and renew those sleepy mornings. The bedroom and the living room/dining room combo are both shades of warm caramel. It pairs nicely with the bronze and black metals and the living room fireplace. The basement is my beach escape with the color of aqua transporting me to the islands. One last unconventional color - my kitchen is orange, a bright, yet deep orange. My home reflects me, and perhaps, I'm a bit unconventional myself.

When I hear "unconventional" it echos in my mind as "innovative" also. I am so appreciative of the innovators around me, as well as those that came before me. Nothing should stay the same simply for the sake of history. I'm so glad there are people who seek out change, who implement it, and who embrace it.

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FIRST-TIME READER?

This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

Joy Dare: October 19, 2021 - 3 GIFTS UNEXPECTED

This morning I was delaying the start of my day and distracting myself with social media. I follow a pastor I've heard speak and he does a regular live show about good news. It's very positive, but I'm not always in the mood for his style. Today, I stopped and listened for the first time in weeks. It was unexpected, it was timely, and I believe it was completely from God. He was talking about Psalm 91:1-2 and how we need to seek shelter regularly in the shadow of God. Sometimes the noise is around us, sometimes it's inside our head. Regardless, we need to "leave the crowd and go sit with the King." I admit I've been fighting this for quite some time. He went on to share something even more powerful and this unexpected live video has the power to change my life if I'll follow up on it. For that, I'm grateful. (I might share the second part in the future.)

This one is going to be vague to you, so I apologize. However, it is one of the most unexpected gifts I'm most grateful for. It must be counted among the three today. I had a situation where finances were super tight, but what I needed to spend money on was important. The person on the other end of the financial transaction lowered their price so it wouldn't burden my budget. They did it without hesitation. I stammered around before I could mutter my appreciation. Honestly, I still plan to pay the full value when and if life brings a windfall. But the depth of gratitude for that unexpected and generous act of kindness remains, even if I can eventually pay the difference.

When I was in my twenties, I worked retail in the shoe department of a regional department store. On my last day, I had two different customers tell me I was exceptional at my job and they wanted to speak to the manager to tell them about their experiences shopping there. These were not regular clients, I'd never met either of them before. They chose to praise me directly, and to management. Those unexpected remarks gave me confidence that carried me through the next job. It made a difference to me to know someone saw my abilities and appreciated them. They are part of the reason I always try to reach out to retail and service workers and let them know I'm glad they're there. That unexpected appreciation still ripples out and I'm grateful for that.

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FIRST-TIME READER?

This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

Joy Dare: October 18, 2021 - A GIFT SHARED, SAVED, SURRENDERED

21 months ago I shared an experience with one of my favorite people that is still etched in my mind and brings me such deep joy. We flew to San Diego for our first travel adventure together. We were able to blend in visits with a friend of mine from 35 years ago, a favorite family member I had not seen for a decade, a high school friend of Becky's, and her in-laws. I made new friends, deepened our friendship, and caught up on the old ones. I forgot how many miles we drove, but I think it was close to 1,000 by the time our visit was done. We traversed California's highways around San Diego, Murietta, Rancho Cucamonga, Arcadia, Alta Loma, and back to my new favorite city on the Pacific coast. Yes, of course, we enjoyed the beach as well - several times. This was as precious as it was, only because it was a shared time with a dear friend. I am thrilled to count it as my gift shared today.

Christmas 2019. I was heading to California to stay with some friends and take some time to reset my life. The big reason I was going at that time of year was to attend a Lincoln Brewster Christmas concert. I was excited for months and just days before, my friend had to cancel due to a sudden schedule conflict. Mind you, I only knew three other people in town and two had plans. I turned to the third one and offered up the ticket to join me. He said yes, but would arrive a bit late due to work. The seats were unassigned so I spent about 20 minutes repeating the phrase, "I'm sorry, that seat is saved." The night turned out to be one of many great blessings I still thank God for.

I recently had a number of health tests ordered that struck fear in me. My eye doctor (former doctor, now!) wasn't listening to me explain what my eye event was and described something completely different. The next thing I knew, I was heading to the hospital for an ECHO, heart Holter test, and a carotid artery ultrasound. Fear washed over my brain after hearing ECHO and the rest was a little fuzzy. This might be because I've seen too many hospital television shows, but I knew this wasn't good. 

My analytical side told me it wasn't likely that anything was wrong, but I am out of shape and we do have a family history of heart events. I've always been a bit concerned, or curious, about my heart health. I only told a small handful of friends and confidants as I asked them to pray, partially for my health, but mostly for my peace. I didn't even share it with my small group, pastors, family, or most of my friends. (My apologies now if you are reading this and surprised to hear about it.) There are two areas I consistently fail to trust God in. My health is one of them. I don't worry, but I assume it will be the worst case. I have a lot of anxiety about failing health, not so much about death itself. I did not surrender to God immediately. I stressed. I prayed. I quit praying. I isolated myself. The test results came in, but I didn't understand them and turned to the internet to try to sort things out. I know...nobody should ever do that. Yes, I stressed myself out more. This weekend, 45 days later, I got the note from the doctor that said everything was clear. I was relieved, thankful, and happy to hear the news. I never forgot about it, it weighed on me each day, hoping it would be the day with answers. But remember, this is gratitude for "a gift surrendered." I realized that somewhere in the midst of those six weeks of waiting, I had surrendered this concern to God. That is what I am thankful for.

NOTE: This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about and why my blog posts look different right now.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

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Joy Dare: October 17, 2021 - 3 GIFTS UGLY-BEAUTIFUL

There is a phrase people use when they cry really hard; the crying accompanied by gut-wrenching sobs that can course through your entire body and make your eyes and face turn red and puffy. Ugly crying. I have sat beside friends who think they're going through an ugly cry situation. I truly believe it's ugly-beautiful. Their hearts are so open and honest, they are truly vulnerable and transparent. It is stunning and can take your breath away with admiration. Yes, it is hard but it is powerful. I wish I could do that with someone. I respect people that can. I had a moment of ugly crying on a visit to northern California two years ago. I was at an Advent experience alone when I was overwhelmed by God loving me. I had a nice, not-so-quiet sobbing, ugly cry while I talked to God. I know He thought it was beautiful. I am still thankful for that moment.

Confession. This is all I have for today. I am writing the next two parts a day late. But, at least I found something to be grateful for. This was a difficult topic for me.

One ugly part of my home is this window on the front of our house. It's always smudged with the noseprints of my precious little dog. I adore him so I see these smudges as ugly-beautiful and I'm always thankful he is in my life. Especially today, after his annual vet check-up! It's a terrible photo because of the screen on the window, but the smudges are on the bottom left and he is slightly reflected on the right side. Usually the smudges from yelling at the mailman and every single dog that walks by cover 80% of that space.

Perception is so important. I just read a Facebook post from Steve. We're in an online group together, working on goals. Technically he is a complete stranger, yet our lives have intersected due to similar dreams of writing. He wrote about having lived many years believing a lie about being worthless. Someone spoke that to him, and he believed it. He now believes he is who God tells him he is. He knows he isn't worthless, and that he never was. Nothing else changed, except his perception. What he chose to believe went from ugly to beautiful. I hope and pray we may all find the beautiful, if we're currently feeling the ugly.

Joy Dare: October 16, 2021 - 3 GIFTS BURNING

While attending college, we headed to the beach often for day trips, some lasting long into the night. Those were my favorite ones because the guys would build a campfire and keep it burning for hours. We would gather around it in a 20-foot circle. The evening would be spent with people sharing devotional thoughts, reading or reciting Scripture, or praying. We spent the majority of the time singing together, usually acapella. This is a memory I hold close to my heart and pull out for special occasions to reflect on. I'd kind of forgotten about it lately, but 10-20 college peers singing around a burning campfire is an experience I am grateful to get to keep as a memory. I can still recall some of their faces with the campfire glow on them.

We usually hear the term, "burning bridges" used in a negative manner to reflect someone who stormed off of a job or did something else that lent itself to a relationship they could never return to. I had a conversation today about moving on from a situation that didn't end smoothly. No bridges were burned, but communication ceased. As I thought about this writing topic today, it struck me that maybe we need to start burning some bridges in our lives intentionally, so we cannot return to people or places we shouldn't go back to. If the bridge is there, we may turn around and seek out what was familiar, easy, or safe even if it wasn't good for us. I was so grateful for today's conversation and the idea that came to me about burning the old connections if we need to. I felt so much peace with this and I'm thankful for this idea.

There was a time when I was much younger that I could have been described as someone who was burning the candle at both ends. I'm reminded to be thankful for a couple of things here. To begin with, I am super grateful I didn't do that for so long that I put my health or life in jeopardy. Moreso, I appreciate the life lesson from it, and changed so that I strive to find balance now.

 

Joy Dare: October 15, 2021 - 3 GIFTS RE-READ

Drat! I wish I knew this was coming, I would have saved my Reluctant Prophet and The Master's Mind post from two days ago until now. Hmmm...re-read? I don't typically re-read much so it's time to get creative with my interpretation again.

Letters! Oh my goodness, of course. I have a couple of boxes that hold some of my most prized possessions, letters from dear friends. These boxes are on my list of things to take with me in case of an evacuation emergency. I am deeply grateful and thankful for them, and I have read and re-read each one countless times. The folds are deeply creased and a few are even beginning to fade. I have letters from people who have passed, which are among my favorite ones. I have short notes from people who have encouraged me and long handwritten monologues from people pouring out their hearts. Every word is a treasure I will continue to re-read many times more.

Well, now you know what my doubts are.

I have heard that affirmation statements can be helpful to repeat as we try to believe the words about ourselves. I finally tried it and placed it to the right of my desk where I will see it several times a day. I have read and re-read each statement numerous times almost every day for months. I'm thankful for the reminders and the challenge they provide to grow into acceptance of the words. The other reason I appreciate these words that I will continue to re-read often is because each statement was given to me by a different person and I'm reminded of their faith in me.

I am reminded of my grandfather's Bible that I have. It is worn, frayed almost, and his handwritten notes are throughout all pages. It has clearly been read and re-read a remarkable number of times. His life reflected his faith. It also reflected the amount of time he spent reading and re-reading those words. I'm thankful to own this now. I hope it will inspire me to read and re-read my Bible.

Joy Dare: October 14, 2021 - 3 GIFTS SAID

Earlier this year I was in an online group with Zoro, a world-renowned musician, master storyteller, and motivational speaker. (I borrowed that line from Amazon, but it's perfectly said.) I would add that he's a phenomenal person, a beautiful Christian example, a powerful encourager, and one amazing drummer! He was guiding us through his book, Soar, about unlocking our potential and pursuing our dreams. We'd been talking about our dreams being from God and if we believed that, then we needed to take action. I sat through most weeks feeling too intimidated to speak up but one night he had some time for questions and I went for it. Being one of the older participants, and only just beginning to dream again, I asked him if he had any advice for those of us starting later in life. His response was gentle and encouraging, while also boldly honest. He looked straight into the Zoom screen and told me (and the others) to, "Get over yourself and do it for God." I'm so grateful he said those words. I have them written out on a whiteboard next to my computer and also on my vision board. I hope to have a long lunch with him someday, just to learn more from him. (Hint, hint - in case he ever reads this!)

This week I had someone say something to me that caught me off-guard. These friends had sent an e-mail to check in and say hello. It was a simple, "How are you?" Normally I would have chosen to respond in writing and catch them up. But, I have missed this couple so much I decided to call instead. We caught up on all of the life stuff back and forth, good and bad. We were just about to sign off when he said, "I'm proud of you." I actually had two other people say something along those lines in the same week but it took this third one for me to really absorb it and accept it from all of them. I am thankful he said that at that particular moment in time. It was a perfect gift.

I love to laugh. I don't do it as often as I used to, but that needs to change. One of my favorite memories in my marriage is something I said at a time when my husband was quite sick with a sore throat. I was on the loveseat, directly opposite the entertainment center. He was to my left, sitting in a rocking chair that angled towards the television and we'd been watching together. He would not stop talking, even though his throat was hurting. I turned to him and in my best caring wife's voice, said, "You should stop talking now." He did. But out of the corner of my eye, I could see his arms were folded across his chest and he had a pouting posture and was no longer rocking. We watched for a bit before I asked him in my not-so-caring wife's voice, "What's wrong with you?" He had taken my comment as a version of telling him to shut up while I was simply trying to get him to rest his voice so he would feel better. The gift said by each of us that night is one of my most laughable miscommunication moments and we still quote that in playful banter..."You should stop talking now."

NOTE: This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about and why my blog posts look different right now.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

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Joy Dare: October 13, 2021 - 3 GIFTS READ

Finally, a gratitude prompt I was super excited about all day. Actually, I peeked last night so I could start preparing. I was almost giddy as I took the very direct route to some of my favorite books I'm grateful I have read. Of course, the list is huge but I found a fun way to scale it to three gifts read. About lunchtime, I had another idea. Today at 3:18, I received an email that completely changed my direction.

I am sticking with the book idea for the first gift because I've been such an avid reader my entire life. How could I not go with the basics of books? I'll give you a nutshell version of my thoughts because I have to name something here. Beverly Cleary formed my childhood, as she did many of us and gave me a lot of books to devour as a child. In 2010, a series launched from Nancy Rue, The Reluctant Prophet, which has nudged me for years when thinking about my purpose so it gets a fun shout-out. I still don't own the series but stumble around two library systems trying to borrow them every few years. The last one was written by a pastor I met two years ago and has left a lasting impact. I'd strongly encourage you to check out The Master's Mind by Lance Hahn. (Both of these will be featured in an upcoming post for "Buy the Book")

I've spent the last year battling recurring vertigo or balance issues. So far, we think it's cervicogenic vertigo, which means the position of my neck greatly affects this condition. I've not been able to read much this past year which is extremely disheartening for me. It feels a bit like a limb is missing as I always have 2-3 books going at a time. I track the books and page count of what I read each year. I am in a class that is requiring a fair amount of reading and it's been difficult to try to find free audiobook versions. With that being said, I have spent this year deeply grateful for the times when I was able to read. Quite frankly, I took it for granted. I've been reading since I was three years old and never took the time to appreciate that I could read.

At 3:18 today, my list for today changed. My purpose was confirmed. I've had a difficult time when people call me a writer. It feels like I must be trained and published, and perfect at it to be called a writer. I've written since I was a child. I wish I'd written more throughout life but I am back at it now. I write because I hope to encourage people they are not alone out there. I haven't had huge traumatic events and I think my life is average. Most of us are normal but feel like we are the exception and alone on our journey. My story isn't spectacular, it won't ever be a movie but I can't shake this feeling like writing is what I'm supposed to do...even when only eight people read it.

Today, I received this e-mail from someone going through breast cancer treatments. We used to cross paths on a regular basis but she moved a short distance away and we no longer have much direct connection. I do miss her dearly. I never imagined she was reading my writing. This changed my original focus for three gifts read. When I read this I was overwhelmed with gratitude that she would take the time to share this with me. Stunned, yet appreciative that my blog is going on her list of things she's grateful for. Thrilled she is keeping a list and writing about gratitude. Humbled that God reminded me of my purpose.

 

"I admire your transparency and talking about things that are hard. Thank you for sharing.

I am keeping a journal for my own journey this year. In one section, I'm writing about an attitude of gratitude and keeping a list of things I'm grateful for. I'm going to put your blog on my list."

NOTE:
This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about and why my blog posts look different right now.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

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Joy Dare: October 12, 2021 - A GIFT SMALL, SMALLER, SMALLEST

I've spent so many years in church that my first reaction to hearing the word "small" was to add "group" behind it. Then I realized I am grateful for my current small group so that's my interpretation. The people in this group were strangers to me two years ago. We don't even attend the same church but they are my family and have become my friends. I have heard them share personal stories and prayer requests that have brought tears to my eyes. They have talked about their faith with such a deep and sincere love that I am often convicted to grow in my own relationship with God. They laugh. Oh boy, do they laugh. They are a safe place for me to share my life. They celebrate and praise God together. They seek to live a life of following and loving God. They are examples to me, some are unknowingly my mentors. I love my small group and count them as a gift.

Smaller brought to mind a scene from a favorite childhood movie, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The original one with the genius acting of Gene Wilder. The Wonka-Vision scene where Mike gets smaller isn't what I remember most from the movie, nor is it what I'm grateful for. I am thankful for what this represents - growing up in a generation when we had original movies like this, Mary Poppins, and Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang. It was an era when creativity surrounded us and imagination ran wild. Violence was the exception, sex was unheard of onscreen, and you could relax and enjoy movies together as a family.

NOTE: If you've never seen the original, be sure to check it out.

Link to Wonka Vision scene

Thinking about the "smallest" gift brings a lot of gratitude to mind. My first cousin once removed, Jenna, was born five weeks early, weighing only four pounds, seven ounces. She was the smallest human I'd ever seen. She was also the most precious one I'd met. I spent all the time I could with her for several years before life started to take me in a different direction. I moved out of state and she grew up without me around except for one wonderful week when we hosted her for a visit when she was 16. She has since moved to the same state I'm in but there was some distance within other family members that kept us from connecting immediately. Today, I am still thankful for that tiny little girl who has grown into a marvelous, kind-hearted woman. We have been able to restore our relationship, and those close to us. She was the smallest gift then but has made a big impact on the lives of those she loves.

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Joy Dare: October 11, 2021 - 3 GIFTS OF CHANGE

We are fortunate to experience four distinct seasons where I live. I delight in each one for a different reason and I'm almost always ready for each transition. With the seasons, there is another change I am grateful for. Two of those seasons bring a change in bedding. I have a dark red and white quilt that is heavy. It's not an antique, but its weight reminds me of the old quilts from generations ago. You know, the kind that weighs so much you can hardly move once you're buried under it. While I may not enjoy the cold temperature making it necessary I do love the symbolism that the fall/winter season is here. Each year I think the same thing when spreading it out for the first time. This is my favorite quilt. 

In the late spring, it is finally time for a lightweight covering and I'm always thrilled to change out the thick and heavy one. You see, my spring/summer one is a playful pattern in shades that remind me of life in a beach house. I once again think the same things. This is my favorite quilt. I love the fact that I need to change the warmth level of my quilt twice a year.

A change of direction can be one of my favorite changes. I love a good road trip. One thing I enjoy even more is an unplanned excursion. I may have a basic idea but when I find that rural backroad with an interesting intersection or a vague sign pointing to something a few miles away, I'm going to change directions and see where it takes me. Some of my favorite memories stem from a change of direction. Many of my best photos have been captured on this kind of adventure.

Almost 30 years ago I made a change I have been thankful for every day since. I moved to a new city. The city has changed dramatically in the last ten years and I hope to leave it within the next ten years. But I am grateful to have the people in my life that wouldn't be a part of it had I not made that change.

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Joy Dare: October 10, 2021 - 3 HARD EUCHARISTEO

This seems to be as simple as being thankful until you add the word "hard" to the title. My understanding of this is we are to focus on being thankful in the midst of the hard things. Yikes!

I don't want to do this one. I'm old enough that life has had some difficult times and honestly, I don't want to walk down this memory lane in order to find three to be grateful for today. However, I made a commitment to the person who pointed me to this, and I made a commitment to my readers. You always get transparency from me, with the hope it will encourage or inspire you.

Grief and loss jump to my mind as some of the hard times but they sure didn't tempt me with the thankful part. But it wouldn't leave my mind so I sat with it until I found the gratitude. I've heard it said that to grieve deeply, you loved deeply. I am grateful to have had some amazing people in my life. I still have waves of grief years after losing them. I watched my grandfather take his last breath when I was 23. The same disease later took Denny, one of the people who influenced my faith the most. My dear Maxine was a woman filled with joy and love, completely reflecting Christ in her life. If God had favorites, I know Jeff would have been on that list and I still grieve him as well. These deaths, and several others, were very difficult times. Some were sudden, while others were drawn out due to illnesses. I witnessed one and missed out on saying goodbye to many others. While I don't like the pain of not being able to talk with them when I need them most, I will forever be grateful to have known them.

If you've been married for longer than a week, you might be able to agree with me that marriage is hard. Not all the time, but it has seasons when it's more difficult. My marriage has been a difficult one. We no longer pretend it's been fine and I don't think anybody that was ever around us would have believed that anyway. It hasn't been horrible either, just our version of normal. When I talk to other couples, they tell me they've had hard times also so I know we're not alone. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm thankful my marriage has been so hard lately. I know...you're wondering why you're reading the posts of a madwoman. Hear me out as I connect the dots for you. If my marriage was the best it could be, I wouldn't be writing these posts focusing on gratitude. I turned to a counselor to help me find my way in a marriage I couldn't fix. This is where my deep appreciation comes into play. I just had my 12th session. It was a difficult conversation but if I want to grow and become a better person, I have to go through the tough things to get there. (Remember the orange example from day one?) As it turns out, my spouse is not the one solely at fault. Who knew? I don't think there's anybody that wouldn't benefit from seeing a counselor on a regular basis. Life is hard and I think we all need some help from time to time. Part of my counselor's coaching was to look for these moments in life and learn to appreciate them. So, hats off to you - I'm doing this because of your guidance, and I am grateful for this really hard thing called counseling, which I found due to another hard thing, marriage. (NOTE: Yes, I had my hubby's approval to post this. I didn't ask the counselor!)

Faith is hard. Am I thankful for faith? Sure, but it isn't that simple. I grew up surrounded by people with faith and I followed in their footsteps. As a young adult, I lost faith and it took years to rediscover it. Some days I think I have faith in God but there are still many when I doubt it's genuine. For many, faith and trust come naturally but I struggle to maintain either consistently and I don't know why. This is what makes it hard for me. How on earth can I be grateful for this, you ask? I'm not sure. But it's what came to mind so I chose to roll with it. I'm currently writing my first book, which is my spiritual memoir and I think this is where the gratitude comes from. I've been told by many people that they can relate to pieces of my story. I believe sharing my journey will be a way to encourage readers who have difficulties themselves or have people they love who have walked away from God. I am grateful my story can touch the lives of others, even though it's been hard for many decades.

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Joy Dare: October 9, 2021 - 3 GIFTS PRAISED FOR

Honestly, I'm struggling with this one. Anybody else?

The first thing to come to my mind is when an answer to prayer is what we were hoping for. Latest example. My cousin Evalyn (she's actually a "step-Aunt" if that's a thing - I just always thought of her as a cousin) was recently dealing with a severe bout of the virus. She lost her husband to it and we nearly lost her. Obviously, we were all praying for recovery and complete physical restoration. There are a number of people who love Evalyn and consider her survival a gift, even a miracle, and it is one gift God is being praised for.

It feels awkward to talk about my own gifts. Society tells me I'm supposed to be so humble I deny having any. It's always felt confusing because, at the same time, God tells us we are each gifted. With that in mind, and because I can't think of anything else yet, I'm choosing to appreciate that I do have gifts (talents) and people have praised me for them. I don't always agree with people, but I'm trying to accept that some of my gifts might be "good enough"  that a few people sing my praises about them.

This keeps popping into my head so I'm going with it. When a first responder does something even more extraordinary than usual, it's not uncommon for there to be a medal awarded to them. Praises are heaped upon them in a ceremony. I am grateful for each and every person who chooses to serve as a first responder, in any capacity and so for my third gift, I am grateful for those men and women praised for going above and beyond. I actually think we can't sing their praises enough, simply for doing the job. NOTE: This applies to our military as well.

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Joy Dare: October 8, 2021 - 3 GIFTS PRAYED FOR

Window as you enter the pizza place. I sat outside today, trying to enjoy
the last remnants of late summer.

If you've been around people who pray, you have probably heard the joke about not praying for patience because you often find yourself in multiple situations in which you'll need it. I'm also reminded of the phrase "be careful what you pray for." As I write this I'm sitting at my favorite pizzeria one town away, with tears streaming down my face. It's been a hard week with some unanticipated tough moments. I'm feeling emotional and overwhelmed, but not the least bit concerned about who may see me crying. This isn't like me. But I am thankful for the gift of feeling that I have prayed for the past several years. I was becoming concerned that I couldn't feel things and didn't have an emotional side anymore. I began praying for that on a few random occasions and today I understand this is a gift received. I'm not convinced I like it, but I did pray for it so we'll see how this works out.

When I first started going to church again, I started volunteering with Pastor Kurt and his assistant, Helen. I began praying for a job opportunity to open up that would allow me to work at the church, as part of his ministry team. Less than two years later I joined the staff and was honored to work alongside him for ten years.

One of the most beautiful things I've heard is when a man or woman says they've been praying for their future spouse for years, before even meeting. This goes much further than saving themselves for marriage, but they are praying for their well-being, their faith, their future, their hopes and dreams. God knows who that person will be, but the ones doing the praying don't. I am so grateful there are people wise enough in the younger generations to do this, to live so unselfishly, and so trusting in God. This is beautiful and can only serve to build a solid foundation for that marriage.