Joy Dare Trial Run: October 3-5, 2021

Catching up from this week...

October 3, 2021: A GIFT CAUGHT, LET GO, MID-WAY

The evenings are getting shorter and I’m losing my perspective on time as we start to transition into fall. It seems like it should still be light until at least 8 pm. Tonight, after a nice conversation with a new friend about gratitude, I exited the building just before 7 pm and was surprised when we caught the end of a beautiful sunset. I love sunsets, but we don’t have a lot of colorful ones where I live. This caught me by surprise (ooh, a double “caught” reference) and I think all I could do was point and utter, “Look, gratitude!”

There have been a few times recently when I have let go of my inhibitions and taken a risk with difficult or awkward conversations. I don’t like to do things I’m uncomfortable with. Three of these conversations bring thoughts of gratitude now that they are done. A week ago, I told someone how embarrassed I felt about something I had said a month or two earlier. It wasn’t what I said, but it was that I bumbled my original words, and I didn’t convey my thoughts clearly. I left room for the words to be misinterpreted or take on a meaning that left me feeling like an idiot. I had spent months not wanting to make eye contact when I saw this person, but I finally let go of the inhibition, explained what I meant and how stupid I’d felt, and now it’s over. I’d lost months worrying, they didn’t skip a beat or think about it at all. Last month, I had some research on a topic I was unfamiliar with, which led to an awkward written conversation as I floundered my way around, not looking professional while pretending to know more than I did. Then today I had a different awkward conversation with someone on a topic I’m not secure talking about. But again, nothing but gratitude as I reflect on it. Sometimes I may feel like a fool, but for today, I’m thankful for people who can receive or witness when you let go and try to grow - and still respect you in spite of it. I'm grateful for the people in my life who are patient with me when I do this. 

Mid-way through the year you’ll find my birthday, it’s close to the date of America’s birth. I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my birthday for years. In 2009 I was on a team interviewing candidates to be our new youth minister when he mentioned using his birthday as a reset, or fresh start without waiting for the new year to begin. This was perfect since mine was mid-way and I adopted that process wholeheartedly. This year, mid-way through, I found a new appreciation as someone challenged me to think about what my birthday meant to me. It was a remarkable experience and so, at least for 2021, I am extremely grateful for the pause mid-way to learn an important life lesson.

NOTE: You can find the original blog post here:

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/07/summer-birthdays.html

 

October 4, 2021: 3 GIFTS REAPED

You reap what you sow. I’ve heard that all my life, so it makes sense it was the first thing I thought of with today’s prompt. I think generosity often looks like this. It’s not that being generous brings us something in return, but I think somehow our acts of kindness can circle back. When the quarantine began, I decided to pursue my interest in learning the ukulele and bought a beautiful, inexpensive, concert version. I started off strong with the online lessons and good intentions. Now it mostly gathers dust. I have pulled it from its case on occasion to test the sweet strumming sounds that bring images of palm trees, sand, and the ocean. My husband has also done this from time to time and recently expressed an interest in learning to play.

Last month I saw my ukulele in the corner, and it inspired me to take steps to find common interests and establish date nights with my husband. I didn’t want to spend much so checked in my neighborhood's free online group to see if someone had one to pass along. No luck there, so I turned to my neighborhood community group, looking for an affordable used one. I was connected to a neighbor who places new, refurbished ukes at reasonable prices. However, when I went to pick up our soprano ukulele, we were given two - along with a lesson songbook and a wonderful connection to someone in our neighborhood. His parting words the day we reaped that gift were, “Promise me you’ll laugh.”

As a young child, we had a small garden. I was probably about four years old, but I oversaw the thinning and harvesting of the carrots and radishes. For those unfamiliar with this process, they were grown from seeds and if you don’t create space between the plants, they will all be very tiny. As you remove the crowded ones, the others will produce a larger vegetable. I truly reaped a bountiful harvest, and some great memories with my Dad I will always be thankful for.

I am thankful for the times in my life when I reaped the benefits of people praying for me. I don’t often ask people to pray so when I do, I am either at the end of my rope and feeling desperate, unwilling to pray myself, or it’s something that matters so much to me I seek prayers from anybody who will pray. Right now, I’m particularly grateful for so many who have been praying for a family member we almost lost to Covid. Today, I’m also reminded of a few who have prayed for me at times when I had given up and I have to say, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for those who carried me through in prayer.

October 5, 2021: 3 GIFTS RETURNED

My favorite gift returned is a person, I hope that’s not weird. In 2007, my best friend moved to Alaska. I didn’t realize she was my best friend until after she moved away. We had great hopes of meeting up for vacations, but life didn’t allow for that. I only visited once, and we met up a few times as she passed through town. Until 2020. It may have brought a pandemic, but it also returned my friend to Portland, at least until last month. Quarantine kept us apart for most of her time here, but I appreciate the handful of times we got to look each other in the eyes, laugh or cry, and share real-life stories together.

I’m not a huge fan of social media, but I am grateful that it has returned some of my life’s history to me, in the form of people. I went through a season of feeling unknown and fragmented about 2 years ago. I finally determined I was nostalgic for the familiar, and people who knew me, specifically those who knew me when I was younger. Social media was the initial connecting point as I started having conversations with two former youth leaders (one who happens to live in the same town as me, a thousand miles from where we once called home) and several other church contacts from my teen years. I found many friends from grade school through high school and some of my favorite people from my college days. Many of them are now a regular part of my life and I feel that the part of my life that was missing has been returned.

My prized gift returned was when I returned to a life of faith. I’m not going to tell you it’s been easy. I’m still learning what that looks like. But I do know I’m appreciative of a God that allows us to return. He also allows us to return again, and again if we need to. I think God would also call any prodigal a gift returned. 

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