Joy Dare: October 18, 2021 - A GIFT SHARED, SAVED, SURRENDERED

21 months ago I shared an experience with one of my favorite people that is still etched in my mind and brings me such deep joy. We flew to San Diego for our first travel adventure together. We were able to blend in visits with a friend of mine from 35 years ago, a favorite family member I had not seen for a decade, a high school friend of Becky's, and her in-laws. I made new friends, deepened our friendship, and caught up on the old ones. I forgot how many miles we drove, but I think it was close to 1,000 by the time our visit was done. We traversed California's highways around San Diego, Murietta, Rancho Cucamonga, Arcadia, Alta Loma, and back to my new favorite city on the Pacific coast. Yes, of course, we enjoyed the beach as well - several times. This was as precious as it was, only because it was a shared time with a dear friend. I am thrilled to count it as my gift shared today.

Christmas 2019. I was heading to California to stay with some friends and take some time to reset my life. The big reason I was going at that time of year was to attend a Lincoln Brewster Christmas concert. I was excited for months and just days before, my friend had to cancel due to a sudden schedule conflict. Mind you, I only knew three other people in town and two had plans. I turned to the third one and offered up the ticket to join me. He said yes, but would arrive a bit late due to work. The seats were unassigned so I spent about 20 minutes repeating the phrase, "I'm sorry, that seat is saved." The night turned out to be one of many great blessings I still thank God for.

I recently had a number of health tests ordered that struck fear in me. My eye doctor (former doctor, now!) wasn't listening to me explain what my eye event was and described something completely different. The next thing I knew, I was heading to the hospital for an ECHO, heart Holter test, and a carotid artery ultrasound. Fear washed over my brain after hearing ECHO and the rest was a little fuzzy. This might be because I've seen too many hospital television shows, but I knew this wasn't good. 

My analytical side told me it wasn't likely that anything was wrong, but I am out of shape and we do have a family history of heart events. I've always been a bit concerned, or curious, about my heart health. I only told a small handful of friends and confidants as I asked them to pray, partially for my health, but mostly for my peace. I didn't even share it with my small group, pastors, family, or most of my friends. (My apologies now if you are reading this and surprised to hear about it.) There are two areas I consistently fail to trust God in. My health is one of them. I don't worry, but I assume it will be the worst case. I have a lot of anxiety about failing health, not so much about death itself. I did not surrender to God immediately. I stressed. I prayed. I quit praying. I isolated myself. The test results came in, but I didn't understand them and turned to the internet to try to sort things out. I know...nobody should ever do that. Yes, I stressed myself out more. This weekend, 45 days later, I got the note from the doctor that said everything was clear. I was relieved, thankful, and happy to hear the news. I never forgot about it, it weighed on me each day, hoping it would be the day with answers. But remember, this is gratitude for "a gift surrendered." I realized that somewhere in the midst of those six weeks of waiting, I had surrendered this concern to God. That is what I am thankful for.

NOTE: This is the link to my first post on this topic, in case you're curious what this is about and why my blog posts look different right now.

https://thatresonates.blogspot.com/2021/10/joy-dare-trial-run-october-1-2-2021.html

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